Friday, July 31, 2009

Thank You

Thank you for all your 'Love Notes' and emails over my blog..
Here; Lolipop and Biscuits to thank you!

Looking on my future

"Allah, please brighten up my days so my future wont be dark.."

Things you should know about me

.:Things You Should Know About Me:.
  • I hate discrimination
  • I'm a dreamer
  • I love playing guitar
  • I can write a song
  • I love writing novels
  • I love singing
  • My family on my dad's side is Christian while my family on my mom's side is Muslim and my Noorman's father side is Hindu (that is why I hate discrimination)
  • I'm a mix blooded of Philippines and Indonesian while I'm a Malaysian citizen
  • I got asthma but I love cat very much
  • I love drawing and photo editing using Adobe Photoshop
  • I love Vintage and Jazz music

...and I'm a creative minded...

so, tell me about you...

The Award

Thank you for Daydream Lily for giving me this award...
And i also would like to pass this award for blogs that i have followed to;
Thanks for your very inspiring blog!

My Childhood imagination II

Those drawing above are originally by me grabbed on my deviantart profile

And wishing to have a white wings on my back

My Childhood imagination

when i was a little girl, i always dream to be spelled into a very beautiful mermaid.
living in the water with fishes, waiting for a ship and seeking a handsome drown prince..
swim freely with in a beautiful golden tail and breast..
and kiss the drown prince to be his princess..

The Last Day of July

At last...this is the last day of July and the day that i have been waiting is my last day practical which is also the last day for me to update my blog. but it doesn't mean that i wont be in this blog anymore. just hardly to update it everyday as usuall.. so, dear readers of my blog, keep in touch and keep reading my update blog, thanks for your support...

talking about having a practical-job training in TMnet Malaysia for 2 months is a very good experience... i've learnt so much things especially about internet application and phone line which is the main things about this company. Here i would like to thank all the TMnet Tanjung Aru staff; Pn Aridah, Pn Asia, Pn Mary, Eilenna, Siti, Azleen, Azni, pakcik security guard and the cleaner sister for giving me so much helps and support along this two months practical...

along this period, i also teach myself to be fully responsible over my duty and be punctual. being in a big company really help me on my future especially in seeking job. thanks again..

along this two months, there is so many memories i will never forget. either in office or anywhere.. having a great breakfast with noorman every morning before office, then punch in, then switch 'my' PC on and turn to mix fm then check my Yahoo!mail, my jobstreet application, and this lovely blogs... this is my everyday rutine..huhuhuhuhuh

about my duty here, i'm doing 1st Level complain report, Copy Bill report, Streamyx application claim, phone termination report..etc and many other things...uh-hu... shortly soo many things...

after all, thanx for all your support....mmuah! xxx

and then after this......

going back home and daydreaming all day and doing for-fun-part-time job nearby to collect some penny for myself, missing noorman everyday and being a normal home-girl..

tonight, i'm gonna pack my things which i will give it to my uncle tommorow so on the day i go back home on 4th aug, i dont have to carry so many 3 years luggages...

noorman and me will pack our things tonight together since he'll also leave on the next day after me.. what a great day...

mom and dad is waiting me now at home and i really cant wait to see them... after all, noorman and i gonna miss all the memories we have in this city...

love you all...mmuah!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Fake and Perfect

ok, today is my 1st day being 21 years old and....i got a fake-and-perfect birthday day yesterday. you know why?? because someone betrayed me..

uh-hu, i wont write it down here fully but you know about my previous blog i wrote.. its kind a funny things to think about but i still love my day yesterday...

i cant believe about being betrayed but, i know why... its all because jealousy and hateness in the person's heart over the perfection in me! why i said it was a fake and perfect because; i perfectly made a fake perfect day yesterday... a fake smile and a fake happy day but deep in my heart, i'm about to laugh out loud!!! because the person who try to betray me was sooo stupid! bad planning and..idiot!!hahaha

but i'm still saying i do perfect than her! i am prettier than her and i'm smarter than her... noorman parents advice me to stay calm and patient about all this bad things happened because i am counting my days to leave this place very soon...

a patient person will always win...i love myself, i love my life...

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Here I am

Does being 21 years old were free enough to do anything? will this world gonna be mine and i have my right to do my own decision? does being free is good than being who am i 20 years before?

but i still like my childhood. when i was 7 or 12...or maybe when i was on my sweet 16 or 17 years old with my highschool life... i guess that time is much better. because when we were young, we dont have to think too much about how's life going on.. dont have to worry about how much penny you've spent that day because you'll have it tomorrow...

highschool was so great... having cute boys around and admiring (uh-hu), chatting and gigling with friends... oh, how i really miss that day...

before i turn on 18, i was living with mom dad and sisters and brother at our home sweet home. i REALLY miss that moments... we lived there for almost 15 years, i still remember i was 5 years old something when we moved there... what a great days... i learnt everything about life and being a good girl... although it was not in a uptown area, but good enough to see how wide this world be...

but then, on 2006, i continues my study 500km away from home and start a new life away from my family.. then i met noorman, a man who change my life forever, tought be to be brave and to be mature in all matters...

end 2007, my dad was transfered to other estate which mean we have to leave the 15 years old house we lived in happily... its a very touching moments for me and my family leaving the house. it was a great memory our family ever had... and now we live at our new home in an urban area.. a very big changes to my sisters and brother to grow up...

after 3 years strugling in this city, 500km away from home, its time for me to go home... leaving this horrible place and many unforgetable memories together with noorman... noorman will leave this place to and...... we gonna meet soon and start a very new life..

for my 21th birhtday; i would like to thank my mom and dad for giving happiness along my ages, my sisters and brother for filling my life with wonderful moments, my beloved relatives whose always giving me smiles and huges, and my beloved noorman for all the loves and kisses.. how much i really love you all...

no more rain in my life... i'm gonna start a brand new happy life with many more things to do...


Cheese cake for my birthday, please....

Happy Birthday To Me

Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy Birthday to Me...
Happy Birthday to lovely ME...
Happy Birthday to Me....
.:My Wishes:.
  • May Allah bless my ages
  • May Allah bless my family
  • May Allah bless my Noorman and our love
  • May Allah lighten up my way
  • May Allay giving me chances in every decision I made
  • May Allah never forget me...


Tuesday, July 28, 2009

My yesterday tea time

i ordered a lemon tea for my tea time drink yesterday,
i drank with noorman and his parents,
what a lovely everning although a felt so tired after office,
i look at the lemon slice in my tea cup,
she look so cute and yummy,
so i took her picture and keep it in my noorman's phone memory...
i start to love lemon tea in a cup

Happy Tuesday

Its was raining on the early of this morning but as i switch on my PC in my office the sun start to burn...
A very sleepy morning but i'm trying to do something to make me a bit fresh for this windy morning of tuesday...
i missed my noorman and counting our days for us to leave this place..
goodbye fellows, goodbye friends... noorman and me is about to start our new happy life soon..

Monday, July 27, 2009


i'm so in a dreamy mood now although i'm in a office right now.. this is my last week practical which mean it'll be hard for me to update my blog as usual as now as i end my practical here...
with listening dreamy songs from estrella and rick price mp3 from my office PC, its really works for me to keep dreaming about all the things, past and my future which is mostly dreaming about how will it be after living away from noorman for a very long moment..
i've red all my previous blogs and found everything is all about my feelings about this separations. and thinking about what am i gonna do back home soon.. i do missed my family at home but noorman were part of my life now, too...
i know this will happen very soon, about few days later which is very hard for both us two...what else we can do, just pray and try all our best to be together soon...
he's talking about he's wanna-be-a-businessman dream since yesterday till we almost had a big fight and i'm with my own dream, with my imagination and art life... which is obviously different...
that is what noorman and me, both came from a very different world... sometime its quite hard for us to sit back and discuss, but we still in love...
i've red a blog from Daydream Lily discussing about Love vs. Career and its really usefull for me.. i've left a comment on it... Either carrer or love, i rather choose career but still wanting love as my support... although noorman were not so into my dreams, but i will always want him to get involve in everything i do...
its quite hard to force someone who is not into something that you're really into it, but sometimes noorman can do it for me...
whatever it is, i don't know how fine am i going to face this horrible moment that we have afraid for almost three years since we met last 2oo6...

things i want to do back home

.: here the lists :.

  • wake up late
  • endless rest
  • job-interview at airport shops
  • draft my webpage
  • doing comic strips
  • draw on clothes
  • do handcraft
  • playing guitar and sing new songs
  • recording my songs
  • chat with mom
  • endless sms with noorman
  • borrow books at library
  • do hairstyle
  • wear short pants
  • daydreaming
  • crying missing noorman
  • counting stars
  • lying at datul's room porch till dusk
  • try to bake a cookies
  • listening to my mp3 collections using the woofer at living room with mom

i'm ready

I'm just ready to be lonely..
but my mom said i have to be brave...

Friday, July 24, 2009


uh-hu...after noorman gives me a warmth talks and love words for not feeling so hard about this separation, now i'm feeling so homesick missing my mom and dad and my sisters and brother..
i really can't stop thinking about how am i gonna feel free at my own home, wake up very late, eat what i want to eat, talk as much as i want to mom and wear anything without having to worry about what noorman like or dislike about what i wear that day!
i know that he's gonna be fine here without me, with his parents and his car and his memeng...but still, it might be hard for him when i'm not around anymore..
he gonna missed me sooo much, i knew it... it's so hard but we got cellphones for a call and text, right.. JUST REMINDING MYSELF DON'T BE SO CHILDISH ABOUT MYSELF..
As i'm home later... i can do anything without having to thinking about anything or anyone's feeling... either i want to wake up late or having a very late afternoon shower (!)... mom will never care about either i want to stay locked in my room whole day long or none stop talking with her in the kitchen... my brother will never stop disturbing me with asking my permission to use my laptop and my sister will never stop asking me stupid questions about useless things... i just miss all those things...
and noorman, he will always nonstop sms me anytime... i love my life...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Love note from my Noorman

Berjauhan bukan pengakhiran...
Pemergian bukan penamat...
Cinta ini untuk selamanya...
Melintasi pertengahan pelayaran,
Destinasi telah kelihatan...
Kesetiaan perlu untuk ke destinasi impian...
Jangan diharapkan layar untuk meniup bahtera kita ke arah lain...
Bahtera ditangan kita...
Kita dayung sepenuh hati,
kita dayung dengan penuh semangat...
Jangan biarkan bahtera kita mati...
Kerana keturunan kita menanti di sana...

My to-do list for now

Here is my TO-DO list
  1. Do not think too much about the sad side of leaving this place
  2. Do not take the bad words from those stupid peoples
  3. Do not make Noorman sad and hurt
  4. Do not be so lazy and too sensitive at home
  5. Do not cry too much

The never ending story

I told myself to be brave to face this sickness..

he told me to be brave to face this moment..

things will be better soon and there is nothing will separate us when we believe in ourselves..

i know this might be so hurt to walk through alone but i will always remind myself that he and He will always by my side to give me love so i wont feel so lonely..

i know this separations is so hard but he told me not to say it as separations but as the beginning of our happy story that will never end...

i love you so much... (^.^)

thanx for your warmth words

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Daydream Lily really inspire me

<~ i grabbed this picture from Daydream Lily and really inspire me...

I plan to stick Noorman's pictures and me on my bedroom wall just like these.

i planned to go back to my hometown, Sandakan on the 1st week of this Aug which mean i have to leave him here for a very long time... and him, he'll also gonna leave this place soon... we both gonna leave this place, Kota Kinabalu forever and start a new life...

we met here in this place 3 years ago when i was on my 1st semester while he was my 4th semester's senior... we became a good friend until later on we fell in love..

for three years, i've learnt everything in this place... not about my diploma in Multimedia, but also learnt how to love and to be love... to feel responsible and tough friendship...

Noorman really brings me to a real life...

Another picture grabbed from Daydream Lily (look, she really inspire me!)

and the time for me to leave is almost near..
the moment that we both really fear for..

we've planned that after few months later, we well meet back somewhere else... in a very new place.. and we'll start our happy new life together which is we promised will be better than here...

we have learnt everything.. bitter and sweet of our relationship and now we are ready to face anything with this little brave..

i love you forever

Monday, July 20, 2009

i've packed my bags

How hard i am to leave you..
i've packed my bags and on my way to count my days..
book my ticket and pick my jacket..
i know its so hard for both us two..
but this is the only way for us to be together..
because i believe the place we go
is the place to be..
counting from months to months..
from weeks to weeks..
from days to days
and now the time is almost come..
i know our tears will fall as what we had nightmares before..
i know our hugs will be never tight as what we had ever imagen before..
i know we both hate this moments to say to go
i know all of this is so pain to see
but please say you know
as what i know
that we will always feel near
wherever i go
wherever you go
just; please...
never be so lonely


happy birthday to you...

happy birthday to you...

happy birtday to iza the owl..

happy birthday to youuu....

may Allah bless you 17th and forever!!

you're rock!

iza is my very close sister...she's the 4th daughter after me..we have 6 siblings, 5 girls (i'm the third, iza in the 4th) then the last daughter datul and our 1st n last boy among us, fizul...

iza is a quite girl bit if she close enough to someone, she wont stop talking when she wants to talk but when she's in a study mood, she will only let you speak for 5seconds then she will ignore you..

she's very active in silat (malay martial art) and she's very genius in science! she good in playing guitar, quite religious, a bit tomboy and funny..

her friends called her Burung Hantu (owl) because she really looks like owl, silent and...really look like an owl...

whatever it is... we'll meet at raya..

Friday, July 17, 2009

i hate you!!

i really hate you! i dont care if your whole family hate me as long as i'm happy with my love n my life..
u asked me to respect you but why shud i respect pple that never respect me?! are you respect me??or have you ever thinking that your respect on me??
is that what you call as respect when u yelled at someone without reason? is that how you respect pple by talking to the person without looking into the eyes?
dont you ever feel guilty of living in someone's house without doing or thanking the owner? without thinking what is your responsibilities? or you just spend your time watching tv all day long??
you said you taking a diploma in education?! dont even can communicate nicely to other pple no wonder you never become a successfull educationer..
i know you are so JEALOUSE on me because:-
-i'm prettier than YOU
-i'm brighter than YOU
-i'm successful than YOU
-i'm well known than YOU
-pple love me than YOU
-i'm richer than YOU
-i'm EDUCATED than YOU
-i'm beloved than YOU
you know you never can be better than i am! that is why you keep spearding rumours about myself and you have to know that you will NEVER WIN!

My Freedom

i have a freedom i dreamt for so long..
a freedom that i can do everything without having to fear anything..
i have a freedom i'm longing to have..
a freedom that i can fly to any places without having to fear anyone..
i have a freedom i'm wishing to do..
a freedom that i can decide anything without having to listen to anybody around..
this freedom is something that i believe on my own
that i know it will change everything inside my soul
because i know that what is in my tiny heart will never wrong...

I have to be brave

in this real life, loneliness is the fact to face..
watching fake smiles passed from time to time,
also those painful tears that giving me nightmares...

but i know i have to face this loneliness alone,
crossing this emptiness with a little brave in heart..
Although he's with me here,
i must stand on my own,
thinking and convincing myself that i have to be brave alone,
saying to my own eyes that i have to do on my own,
and face all those mad faces that hurts my soul so much..

i love my family as myself,
i love him as i love myself,
but i need Him more than anyone i love..

cause He knows my sadness,
He saw my tears,
He feel my painful heart,
but i know i have to be brave to face this world..
because i always know;
that no matter how long i should walk along this empty shore,
He watch every step i take...
He knows everything...
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